Parenting can be overwhelming, and we can’t afford to keep ignoring the impact it has on caregivers’ well-being. In August 2024, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy underscored this reality by declaring parental stress as an "urgent public health issue." His report highlights the urgent need for transformative changes in how we support parents and caregivers.
"Something has to change. Supporting parents and caregivers will require a series of thoughtful policy changes and expanded community programs that will help ensure parents and caregivers can get time off to be with a sick child, secure affordable child care, access reliable mental health care, and benefit from places and initiatives that support social connection and community."
His report highlighted many of the themes we have found in our ongoing study of caregiver mental health, like how lack of information when you first become a parent can lead to stress and feelings of failure. For example, one of our participants spoke about feeling lost in regards to her newborn’s sleep.
"They didn't even tell me about wake windows. A two-week-old can only be awake for 45 minutes. I had no idea. I don't know why I thought the baby will sleep when it sleeps. You have to aid them. But they don't tell you that stuff. I'm pretty smart, too, and I still was like, no idea."
Another recurring theme in both his report and our study is the need for connection and community. As the report notes “parents struggle with loneliness at higher rates than non-parents, which can exacerbate parental stress.” In our study one mom spoke about her extreme feelings of loneliness and the relief that finding another group of moms gave her “it meant the world just to be able to connect with just one other mother who was going through maybe what I was going through.”
Parenting stress is at unhealthy levels for all parents but some may experience even higher levels than others. One factor that can be a source of special stress is having a child with a medical or behavioral diagnosis as this involves managing medical appointments, therapies, and unique emotional needs. As Dr. Kelly Fradin, author of Advanced Parenting, notes, navigating these systems often requires parents to act as advocates, care coordinators, and caregivers all at once, which can lead to feelings of failure or inadequacy.
This story of the unique intense parenting that comes with having a child with a diagnosis was one told by those in our study as well. For example, one mother in our study, whose son was diagnosed with eosinophilic esophagitis and ADHD spoke about how piecing together his care team was emotionally exhausting.
"My son's therapist had her first parent meeting with me, and she was like, 'He was born with this brain. This isn't an environmental thing. There's nothing you did wrong. This is his brain chemistry from the moment he was born.' That gave me a lot of aha's about why my matrescence and what I thought I would be such a great mother. I felt like I was just failing over and over again. It just really validated things."
This mother found that a major turning point came when she discovered a village of other parents who understood her situation and her child’s behaviors.
"That's a whole other layer to our village that knows Daniel and knows that he might run around and be, like, crazy. How do we together bring him back into a green zone? And so that's been amazing."
Building a community of people who “get it” can be transformative for parents facing the intense pressures of special needs caregiving. These connections provide emotional validation and practical support, helping to reduce feelings of isolation.
Drawing awareness to the landscape of parenting stress is an important step in supporting parents. However, we need to do more to provide those supports for parents, as noted by the Surgeon General. One initiative is putting this research to action. Brightline, a company offering mental health support for families, launched it’s Under 2's Coaching Program , designed to help parents navigate those critical first years. The program offers parent-focused coaching that covers a wide range of early childhood challenges, from sleep to behavioral development, ensuring that parents aren’t left alone to figure everything out.
Naomi Allen, CEO and cofounder of Brightline, explains:
"We wanted to make sure families had support from the very beginning. It’s not just about helping the child; it’s about helping the parent, too, because they’re the ones who need guidance and reassurance in those early years."
Brightline aims to streamline the process by offering a one-stop platform where families can access coaching, therapy, and psychiatry services all in one place.
"The challenges of pulling together your child’s care team—from behavioral therapists to specialists—can feel insurmountable," Allen explains. "At Brightline, we focus on making sure parents aren’t left to do that alone. We are not only here to provide care, but also to coordinate it, so parents have less on their plate and more time to focus on their families."
On top of the logistical and emotional strain, there’s often a significant financial burden. Many families can’t afford the mental health services they need. Brightline is working to change that. As Allen explains:
"We’ve designed Brightline to be affordable and accessible because so many families don’t pursue the help they need due to cost. Our goal is to offer broad insurance coverage so that out-of-pocket costs are as low as possible, and so families can focus on getting the support they need for both their children and themselves."
To further expand access, Brightline is partnering with the state of California to bring mental health services to all children, ensuring families, regardless of income, can get the help they need. This partnership represents a significant step forward in addressing the growing crisis in child and caregiver mental health.
As the Surgeon General’s report emphasizes - and as research like ours shows - we are parenting in a time of crisis. We need to put more supports in place for parents and to talk across the research, practice and policy arenas to enact real change. As evidenced by Brightline’s work, and those of many others, such supports and conversations are possible. We just need to make them a priority.
The Broader Picture of Parent Mental Health
At Nested, our ongoing research into Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) highlights the pervasive nature of parental mental health struggles. We know that 1 in 5 mothers and 1 in 10 fathers experience a PMAD, yet our study of over 1,000 caregivers revealed that 94% of non birthing partners are never screened for mental health issues. At best, birthing caregivers might be screened once or twice during the perinatal period, but what happens to a parent’s mental health after that?
We know that life after birth brings ongoing stressors—whether it’s a medical diagnosis, behavioral challenges, or simply the pressures of daily life. Yet, we continue to screen parents only at birth, leaving them without mental health check-ins as they navigate the complexities of parenting. This lack of follow-up means we’re failing parents, who often need support far beyond the early postpartum period. As U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy reminds us:
"Raising children is sacred work. It should matter to all of us. And the health and well-being of those who are caring for our children should matter to us as well."
Parents need continuous mental health support throughout their journey, especially as new challenges arise that can amplify stress, such as managing a child's medical or behavioral diagnosis. It’s time to rethink how we care for parents and ensure that their mental health remains a priority beyond the first few weeks of their child’s life.
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